Winter months are hard for me. I get depressed and not just a little bit. I go into a funk that I just can't seem to shake. My doctor calls it "seasonal depression" and while I suffer from year long depression, it does get worse during the winter months. Apparently after doing a little research, I am only one of millions that it happens to. This winter has been rough but thankfully I think I've finally pulled out of it.
I've abandoned this blog for awhile now. Actually, when I last blogged I hadn't planned on abandoning it but then I did and well time slipped by. When I realized just how long it had been, I decided I wouldn't return to it. I thought why do I really NEED to blog anyway and I came to the conclusion that I didn't. The last few weeks though the idea of blogging again has popped into my head several times and so tonight I decided to bite the bullet and just do it.
Lots has changed since I've been away. I have changed since I've been away. I started this new year off with a new outlook and while I'd like to take credit for the peace and contentment I feel, I can't. I know that it's only a peace that can be given by God and he has granted it to me. I'm so thankful. It's been many years since I've felt just okay! It's been such a blessing to me.
I've slowed down. I've took time to enjoy the days whether it be hot or cold, rainy or sunshine. I've mellowed out. I've learned to forgive and in the process I've learned that forgiving (and truly forgiving) is the greatest feeling ever. I've learned to love everyone and to try to act out of love. I've learned when to keep my mouth shut and when to speak up. I've learned to talk to the Master and to rely on his guidance. I've learned to appreciate my parent's and my extended family more for I'm blessed!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not describing this picture perfect idea of how my life is or how I am. Both still have many faults, I still have bad days & our family still has struggles but I do feel like I've finally came into who I truly am a bit. It's nothing I've done for myself. All the countless hours I've spent on Personal Development Reading and such hasn't helped me one single bit. It just occurred like magic. It's just like I awoke one day and my eyes opened and I seen the world through a whole new perspective. So yes, I attribute it all to God and if your not a believer this post isn't meant to offend but I will give him the Praise he so rightfully deserves.
So where do I go here in my blogging route? Well, I've put lots of thought into that. Normally I'm a day to day blogger. You know the kind that gives you every single detail about their day. Yep, that's the kind of stuff I live for and yes that is the kind of stuff I love to read. It pressures me though. It makes me feel the need to do something exciting every day, to come up with some random cooky list of things that I want to accomplish and to blog everyday so that I don't feel as I'm missing marking down the memories. Trust me, I keep the memories. My calendar/journal is full of them. I just don't know that I want to fall back into that blogging style though. I've not really decided what I'll blog about. I don't know how often I'll blog and I'm not putting any pressure on myself. I'm just going to write what is on my heart and what feels right.
So I guess I'll see you around this little space of mine soon! I hope each and every one of you are doing well.