Saturday, May 31, 2014

Heavy Heart

It's 6:00 am and I haven't been in the bed yet. My heart is heavy, my mind confused and my life flipped upside down. While I'll spare you the specifics, my teenage daughter has hit another very rough patch. She has suffered from depression for several years now. It all started after our auto accident when a young life was taken. Yesterday marked the 2 year mark of that accident. Most of the time her depression has been somewhat manageable but on occasion it hits a very severe point. I knew weeks ago we were on a downhill spiral and Thursday it became very obvious. I have spent the past two days trying to cope and help her cope. We have seen doctors, visited the school, took much time to talk and snuggle as well as put her on Homebound for her last week of school. Right now she is not stable enough to handle the stress of a school setting.

Officially both of my children are out of school for the Summer. While I thought Axle's Graduation Ceremony was today, I was wrong. We will be attending that Monday. At the beginning of this week I kicked off with my kids what I called Mommy Camp. You can see it in the previous post if you'd like. While it was a blast and I was seriously looking forward to it, right now it has to be put on the back burner. Our Summer goals and focus has definitely changed. Anika's health and getting her well is the most important job I have right now. With the help of God, I hope I can be successful.

While I'll still be blogging, I don't know how often. I'm fairly certain my blog reading will be kept to a minimum. My family needs my now more than anything else does and so that is where I shall put my focus.

Dear friends, if you pray, please whisper a prayer for my family and especially my daughter. People who do not have an understanding of severe depression think it's an act for attention BUT it's a very real and very scary thing. We all need some strength and direction from above.

Before I go I wanted to do my May Recap and Goals update!

Here is the Recap for the month of May!!!

* Mom and I hit up Yard Sales two days in a row and scored some really good deals like these cute stools!

* We bought the kids a new swingset and the love it :)

* We attended Sunday Morning Service once this month

* We went 4- Wheeling twice this month

* Ax took his very first tractor ride

* We had dinner at my Mother's twice! Great family time and good food :)

* The kids have done a LOT of playing outside

* I received the sweetest Mother's Day gift from Axle that he made for me at school :)

* We attended Axle's Family Picnic that his Preschool hosted!

* My Baby went to Prom

* We celebrated Mother's Day with a cookout at Mom and Dad's with my Granny!

* Our Yard Flooded from a Severe Storm and we lost electricity all night long

* The Little One's and I took my Granny Shopping and out to Lunch!

* I got my Haircut and Face Waxed----Finally!

* Hubs and I snuck away and went on a midnight ride for about an hour. It was so NICE to get an hour of adult time!

* I gave my closet a good was in bad need

* We finally got approved for Axle to receive Occupational Therapy next school year

* I scored some of Axle's Birthday stuff at the Dollar Tree! He's having a pirate party this year!

* Ax's school had a trip to Camden Park and all of us got to go. Such a fun day!

* Anika got her nails done for Memorial Day and they looked so cute on her

* We spent Memorial Day Weekend Camping

* Memorial Day Evening we had a picnic at the park with some good friends of ours

* The kids and I started Mommy Camp and had shakes at the DQ for our first day

* We made a Beach Countdown

* Anika and Dustin split up which was heartbreaking for everyone

* Anika hit a bad spot in her depression which ended out our May. Hopefully come June I will have more positive news on this matter.

NOW..on to my May Goals Update

1. Stay on my Bedtime Routine (This was an EPIC FAIL)
2. Get my Hair Cut and Brows Waxed- Completed!!!
3. Meal Plan- Another fail, not even once did I do this
4. Visit my Granny More- I did fabulous with this. I spent tons of quality time with her this month
5. Schedule my Yearly Pap- Another Fail
6. Pay at least $500.00 on our Beach Rooms- Fail Again
7. Buy the Kids a Swingset- DONE and they love it
8. Make lists for all upcoming events- Failed and trust me I've paid for it
9. Take my Kids to the Zoo- Failed again...hoping to do this soon though
10. Continue Tanning...Failed

Completed 3/10  Not so good huh?

Moving on...Here is my Goals for June! Wish me luck :)

1. Pay some money I borrowed back to my Uncle
2. Pay off my Washer and Dryer
3. Start checking on Homeschool Programs for Anika next year
4. Put Annalee in the Liberty Fest Pageant
5. Eat at Hillbilly Hotdogs (It was featured on Food Network)
6. Focus on getting Anika well and getting her out and about quite a bit
7. Plan every detail of the kids parties before we go on vacation
8. Reserve a camping spot for July
9. Color my Hair
10. Go on a Date Night with my Husband

Alright friends, I'm calling it a night. I'll drop back in when possible
Until then...take care